Pardon me

If someone is in my way, or if I try and fail to sidestep an oncoming pedestrian, anywhere in the world, I still reflexively say “pardon me” instead of “excuse me”. A good friend of mine taught me to say that fourteen years ago when we both worked at a drug store in high school.

Saying ‘excuse me’ gives the customers the impression that they are at fault, whereas ‘pardon me’ achieves the same goal without letting on that you really just want them to get the fuck out of your way.

One can still alter one’s tone, as I do, to make his passive aggression clear in particularly egregious cases. It’s honestly satisfying to glare at someone, flash a grin, and say “pardon me” when they block one from exiting the elevator on one’s floor. Or, at least, it’s the most satisfying thing one can do while retaining his basic civility.